If we were having coffee…

If we were having coffee I would totally be braless. Well, technically I already am, you don’t mind do you? I’ve been having nasty headaches for days. While this is caused by a number of factors such as lack of sleep, a nasty cough I can’t seem to shake, and far too much caffeine, my go to quick solution is take off the bra. The lack of pressure on my shoulders makes me feel soooo much better in the head.

If we were having coffee, I would be having just one, cause too much caffeine, sigh. But I have some juice and tea, so we have options no worries. I would also show you the rubber bands on my wrist that I am very proud of. See I’ve been trying to focus on DBT practice now while I’m stable. Since the symptoms of my crazy are easier right now, finding new ways to cope help me to build those habits for the future. A large part of DBT is non-judgment, which I struggle with to horrendous extreme. Marsha Linehan recommends using a tally system to track judgmental thoughts. Some recommendations are writing actual tallies on a piece of paper, or keeping bits of paper in one pocket and transferring one to the other pocket each time you make a judgment. Well, I’m not carrying a stupid tally sheet, and considering I keep a pocket knife on me, I probably shouldn’t reach in my pocket when I’m being judgmental of myself. So I am using rubber bands. 

What I do is keep 15 rubber bands on one wrist, and move one to the other when my thoughts turn judgemental (if you try this on your own, note that 15 is not a required number, unless you’re OCD and need things in groups of 5). While I was very skeptical of this at first, cause what the hell are tallies supposed to do to help, this works AMAZINGLY. What happens is the moving of the rubber band causes an immediate pause. While I am paused I have a moment to rethink in the ways my therapist has been trying to teach me. I’ve never been able to make that pause before, but the tally system does it for me. I have rethought so much judgment of myself this week it is fantastic. Granted I’m not perfect at it as sometimes I yell internally “that judgment is perfectly justified!” as I move the rubber band, and then my thoughts turn more judgemental and I have to move another. But most of the time it works great.

If we were having coffee I would ask what you have been doing to take care of yourself. I’m seeing a lot of tweets from y’all about your brains being mean and your rough days. And while I try to cheer you up with humor, your struggles break my heart. If I could send you Irish Coffee and face masks I would. But for now I will wish you a braless Saturday, unless you don’t wear bras, then I wish you a shoeless weekend cause shoes suck too.

Namaste y’all 🙏😘

If we were having coffee…


If we were having coffee I’d wish you a Happy Easter if you celebrate that, and a Happy iced coffee Sunday if you don’t. I am celebrating iced coffee Sunday with some of my cold brew, chocolate syrup and a pinch of half and half (I’ll bet you didn’t even know you can pinch half and half!)

If we were having coffee you’d probably laugh at the fact that I’m drinking out of a beer stein. I don’t use reusable straws for anything other than water and don’t want to buy disposable ones, so beer stein it is! Cheers! 🍻 

If we were having coffee you might mention that I’ve been very quiet lately. I’ve been spending some time on self care, trying to rebuild habits I lost when I went through my most recent depression. It’s going well and I will be chatting more soon. But this was some much needed me time, and I’m glad I took it. I would also mention that I want you to take some self care time too. Please remember that self care is NOT selfish, it is necessary. 

If we were having coffee we’d sit and laugh and chat for hours. If you are going to an Easter church service, don’t worry, I’ll wait for you. They best part of cold brew coffee is it stays sweet no matter how long it sits. Your coffee will be delicious whenever you are able to arrive. And if it’s not until night and you don’t want caffeine, I have tea as well. Anything for you my friend. 

Have a wonderful Self Care/Easter/Iced Coffee Sunday!

Love you all, BB

If we were having coffee…


If we were having coffee, you’d be all “um, it’s kinda late in the day for coffee isn’t it?” And I’d be all “but it’s coffee!” And you’d be all “I think I’ll have an herbal tea ms barista.” And yeah that’s totally fair, I get it.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you how the whole family has been sick this week, and work is crazy right now, and it’s cold outside, and I’m cranky. But per coffee time tradition I must remember the good parts of this week. So….

If we were having coffee I’d tell you I’ve been getting back on track with meditation, and finished knitting a cool hat this week. I’m feeling a bit better and my medications seem to be more consistently good now. I stopped taking my anti anxiety at night though (with my physiatrists permission of course) and am going to restart my attempts at lucid dreaming.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask, what was your favorite part of the week? Please share!