Why is your face grey?

Because I’m doing a charcoal face mask. My son literally just walked into the living room and asked “why is your face grey?” I explained I was doing a face mask and so he asked “um, is it a real mask or just paint?” Well not the type of real mask your thinking of. It’s basically a thick goop. “So paint?” Um, I guess so. Kind of.

So I’m sitting here with charcoal face paint and eating chocolate ice cream. As weird as my face seems to my child, it is cleansing. As is the ice cream. Ice cream is always cleansing. And hiding in the house is cleansing. All in all a very nice evening. I hope you all are having a nice and cleansing evening as well.

TMI alert

So I had an OCD flare this afternoon at work and my brain basically forced me to stop all work, all effectiveness, and reorganize my entire cube… and aspects of some of my employees cubes. Yikes! I am very cautious to ensure no one at work knows about my BPD or agoraphobia, but I don’t really mind them knowing my OCD and they find it fairly amusing. But then on the way home from work I had a panic attack and everything in me wanted to hide. Got home thinking “what the fuck is wrong with me today?!” And then started my period. Sigh. Guess I know what’s going on, guess it’s going to be a more hormonal month. So I’m practicing self care and doing a face mask right now. I will spend more time in meditation this week and listen to calming music. More hormonal months than usual tend to induce a lot of panic, and I really don’t have the time for that.

Some advice to y’all: if your short on time, make the time for self care. Panic and stress takes more energy, more time, and more focus than self care ever will.