If we were having coffee…

If we were having coffee you’d be laughing at what a wuss I am. I found a cricket in the bathroom and am terrified of all things bug/insect/arachnid and the like. So my choices were wake up the hubby or wake up the cat. I assumed my cat would have more fun than my husband in a grand cricket chase so I went with option number two. After some placing of my kitten in front of the cricket she finally noticed it. Let the games begin, and may the odds be ever in your favor cricket. So she proceeded to play with the cricket, scare the cricket, taste the cricket, until finally grabbing the cricket in her mouth. I expected that to be the end of the cricket until kitty started walking away carrying it in her mouth with pride and not eating it. She pranced into the bedroom and I have not seen her since. So either the cricket has been eaten, or I shall receive the gift of cricket in my face in the middle of the night. Only time will tell. May the odds be ever in my favor.

If we were having coffee…

If we were having coffee we would most likely be drinking juice as well. I want the caffeine, the break from dreams and confused exhaustion, but I also want juice. Juice tastes good.

If we were having coffee I would apologize for being gone so much. Life is hectic with kids activities, volunteer activities, and more. Beyond that is sleep issues that can’t decide which issue they want to be on any given day, and constant fear and sadness over a friend still on suicide watch.

If we were having coffee I would cheer us all up as I showed you the bizarre dance my son created this week. Think young Elvis Presley, drunk, high, and attempting baton twirling. That’s really the best I can describe it 😂. We also would chat over other fun things from the week. I got to hang out with a friend I haven’t seen for a while and it could not have been more perfect together time. I also got a kitten that is currently sleeping next to me, and thankfully not on my keyboard as she was earlier.

If we were having coffee I would ask you what your favorite moment from the week was. I’d love to hear from you!

If we were having coffee…

If we were having coffee we’d be sitting on my couch, enjoying basic coffee with a touch of almond milk and watching the birds outside (my son and I added bird seed to the birdhouse yesterday. The cat is having a blast). Oh, but don’t sit right there, scooch a little to the right. I already spilled coffee on the part of the couch this morning. Sorry.

If we were having coffee I’d show you the kids room. Usually it would be a huge mess but I made the boys clean it really well yesterday so I could redecorate. They hit a point last year where they officially grew out of the interests that caused the original room decor, and gained whole new ones. So for the last year, as I silently cried over the toddlers I will never again have, I also quietly collected new posters and wall art for the interests of the amazing and unique personalities they have become. I spent yesterday afternoon making the switch. They love their new decorations and I loved making that happen. As heartbreaking as it is to remove the old, the new fills the heart back up and makes it totally worth it.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you about how great therapy is going right now. I had my appointment Thursday, walked in with a great deal of frustration, walked out with peace and greater mindfulness. I also found the courage to share some blog posts with my therapist and she loved them. I didn’t really expect great feedback other than I seem more stable than I did with the journals I shared with her before starting the blog. But she really was impressed. In fact she has begun sharing my post on misconceptions with others (keeping me anonymous of course).

My husband had his first therapy appointment on Friday. I took him to my therapist’s partner. Not because she is her partner, but because when I met her it was right after they moved into their new office and I told her the fake birds were hung wrong and it was going to kill them. But also that the lights in this office where better than the last cause the light bulbs in the previous office were uneven and it freaked me out. She kindly smiled, fixed the birds, and asked if there was anything else she should have fixed as the handyman was coming the following day. I love her, she totally deals with my crazy even without knowing me. So Friday I took my husband there and proceeded to sit on the floor and color once he went back to her office. She walked out at the end of his session and said “oh, your wife isn’t back yet?” at which point my husband said “she’s right there, on the floor”. And then she proceeded to talk to me like a normal person. Have I mentioned that I love her? 

If we were having coffee, we’d sit and enjoy the quiet of the morning. It is peaceful here right now. I don’t know where this peace is coming from as my home is essentially the same as always. But right now, for some reason, I feel calm in a way I haven’t in a long time. If you still feel stress please take some of my peace and rest in it. I’ll keep pushing it into the atmosphere for you so you don’t have to use any strength to find it. Just rest.


If we were having coffee…

If we were having coffee we’d be sitting on my couch enjoying just a plain black cup of coffee. Unless you want cream or sugar in yours, I can totally make that happen. But only for you (shhh don’t tell the others). We would be whispering and enjoying the quiet comfort of home, and avoiding the laundry room completely. I went to start a load of laundry this morning and a giant cricket was in my laundry room! 😱😰☹️ I don’t do bugs, but my husband is asleep and I’m not going to wake him up. He had a rough night of restless leg syndrome and slept very little the poor thing. So being the kind and loving wife I am I got over my intense fear of all bugs and placed a cup over it. Now it can’t run away before my husband wakes up. To my defense, I did try to get the cat to kill it before going the cup route, but she thought my pointing at a bug meant to place her head up to my hand to be petted. Cats aren’t very helpful during bug emergencies. 

If we were having coffee I’d thank you for be willing to come here instead of needing to go out. Life has been a complete shit storm right now. My medications are working great, and I’ve been doing self care techniques to keep building those habits, so I’ve been coping better than I usually would. But even still, the constant crap that life is throwing at my family right now is exhausting and stressful. So I finally hit a point this week that I no longer had the mental ability to leave my house. I called in sick, laid in bed, and did almost nothing. My fear of the world took over and I felt like I could no longer cope. Except that I did cope. I took the time I needed to stay home and recover. I meditated and colored. I did crafts with the kids during random bursts of mild energy, and I had them snuggle and read me a book when I simply couldn’t get out of bed. I remained safe with myself, and happy with the family. I call that a win.

If we were having coffee I would ask how you have been. What have you done this week to take care of yourself, or to bond with a family member or friend?

If we were having coffee…

If we were having coffee we would be chatting about this beautiful December weather while sipping peppermint mochas. I’d show you my knitting that I’m finally getting back into after spending the last couple of months balancing my throats chakra. 

If we were having coffee I’d tell you how excited the kids are to be picking gifts for soldiers to send through operation care package. I explained that since often times soldiers are moving around or hiding, Santa can’t find them. The kids were very eager to find things to send because the men and women that protect us deserve to have a great Christmas.

If we were having coffee we’d go out to a coffee shop, in part because my anxiety has been low today and I’m feeling comfortable with the outside world, and in part because my cat is excited about something out the window and keeps wacking me in the face with her tail since she’s sitting on the back of the couch. Thanks cat.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you about how I’m making it a point to get back into my yoga. Although I have been sore, I am feeling much better than I did in November. Which reminds me! I need to share my November favorites! I’ll post that tomorrow. 

If we were having coffee, I’d ask what you’re doing to practice self care this December. It can be a bit of a crazy month, so self care is extremely important. I’d love to hear your ideas!

Socks are evil… Apparently 

I’m trying to get some work done before I have to hit the office tomorrow. My cat is also working hard attacking random items in the living room. She has effectively killed my sock just now. Thank you fluff butt for saving me from the evil ways of the toes-warmer. I am forever in your debt. 

Cats are not helpful to meditation

Work has been crazy the last month. My teams workload basically tripled overnight, and being the good manager I am I still make them take their breaks. “You need time to step away from work and refresh the mind! Go take a lunch break” *mom glare*. And then of course I proceed to skip all breaks…. Oops.

After a week in the psych hospital last year I started meditating midday to lower my stress level. There is a small conference room no one uses that I sneak into during my lunch break to meditate for anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. With how crazy work has been I’ve needed this desperately yet refused to give myself that time. So I sat down after the kids went to bed tonight to do a mindful meditation body scan.

I pulled up my insight timer, found a guided meditation I’ve been meaning to try for just this purpose, and then proceeded to watch my cat suspiciously try to find the voice in my iPad. Funniest shit ever! I couldn’t stop laughing as she tried to figure out where to attack next. Needless to say, it is difficult to “focus on the big toe of your left foot” as the lady on the app told me to when the cat was actively trying to hunt her down. I may not have released all the blockage I’m carrying in my lower back, but I did get to release the emotional energy through the laughter. So thank you to my furball for lowering my stress, but perhaps tomorrow I’ll try meditation again 😉