I shouldn’t be on Google

My husband had some abnormalities in some recent blood tests. The doctor has shown concern and is requesting a number of other tests, x-rays, and sending him to a specialist for further analysis. We both hang on to this unspoken fear of what will be discovered. We both have tried not to jump to conclusions. But it’s hard. When the symptoms and test results and future scheduled tests match descriptions of what happens when diagnosing some very serious illnesses, it’s hard not to google search for answers. To see if there are other less serious concerns, to see how frightened we should be.

Neither of us speak of our fears. We put no labels to the potential diagnosis we see. We continue on with life as normal, trying to put the concern and stress aside until the Doctor says more. I wish the tests would be done and we would have answers. I’m tired of the brave face needed while constantly assuring my husband “don’t worry, they’re just ruling stuff out.” But for now I wait. And try to stop myself from google search symptoms and tests. I doesn’t do any good, so I need to patiently wait for the doctor to speak.

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