Crashing

Therapist “we should work on some grounding and balancing”

Me “I’m fine! I’m perfectly fine being manic as long as it lasts long enough to get me through all the crap I need to get done!”

Therapist “I understand that feeling. But what happens when you crash? We don’t want manic followed by depression. We want balance”

Me “I don’t have time to try for balance right now. Manic is hitting at the right time. There is too much to do, I need this energy. Just let me be overproductive for a few more weeks”

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A few days later and I’m now beginning to crash. Depression is kicking in and I’m started to get scared. My last episode of depression was not kind to me, and I don’t know that I have the strength for another so soon. So I will meditate and hope it passes soon before it gets too bad.

I guess balance wasn’t such a bad idea. But I really don’t have the time for anything but productivity right now.