When dealing with BPD it is critical that we learn to forgive ourselves. And this is where I most fail.
There are times that I will allow my emotions to get the better of me. I will snap at my husband. I will cry at work. I will have panic attacks in store parking lots. I will refuse to meditate out of mental exhaustion. I will forget to eat until it makes me sick. I will cut myself. I will burn myself. I will hide and cry uncontrollably. No matter how successful my treatment is, I will occasionally go backwards.
It is during these times I must forgive myself. I must love myself. Falling backwards is not failure, it is success, because I picked myself up again. When you fall, when your struggle gets the better of you, you are not failing! You are pulling on strength that you didn’t know you had and surviving for future success. Never forget that!
When we struggle and begin to feel the pain and heartache of that, the first step towards healing is forgiveness. Forgive yourself for the step back, and promise to love yourself as you begin to move forward again.