Coping with BPD – Treatment

It is extremely important to stick with a treatment plan. I currently see a therapist and psychiatrist. Although my therapist has to constantly remind me that I need to see my psychiatrist (not because I forget so much as I simply avoid it). I don’t like medications, I don’t like side effects, and I don’t like my constant mind battle on whether or not what I have is actually medical rather than me just being stupid and crazy. Sometimes it takes that someone else to remind you. 

Of course I also hate therapy because I don’t like to face my issues. I’m more of a distract the issues out of my awareness kind of person. In fact in my very first session with my therapist she said “you realize you’ve been self-medicating with work for the last 9 years, right?” (I guess we can add workaholic to the list of disorders). I’ve been going to this therapist for about a year and a half and still sit there silently for chunks at a time because I don’t want to answer her questions. 

The fact is I hate treatment, and I especially hate that I need it. But I love my treatment team, and that makes all the difference. I hate therapy, but I feel safe both from the world and myself in my therapists office. I hate psychiatry but I feel heard by my psychiatrist when I discuss symptoms and medical concerns. 

I have found a strong treatment team that helps, that work well with each other, and that understand my fears and frustrations. They are understanding when I struggle to speak or refuse a specific type of medication. They don’t judge when I align their blinds or scratch at my arm. They both speak to me, as an individual with my own reactions to my diagnosis. And I am safe.

Over the last year and a half I have made tremendous progress and it is thanks in large part to my therapist and psychiatrist. They put up with me, learned me, adjusted for me. I didn’t know anyone would do that for my treatment, no one I had tried previously ever did. If you are struggling with your symptoms find a good treatment team, and listen to them. It can make all the difference in the world. 

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