If my 5 year old had twitter

My son is obsessed with sharks, and I mean OBSESSED! His current favorite movie is a documentary on sharks, and not a kids one, no, a predators documentary. Anyhoo, he’s been begging us to let him watch Jaws so today we finally gave in. We watched with him, ready to turn it off if he got scared. He proceeded to sit on the couch giving commentary to his stuffed shark “Sharkys” the whole movie and it finally struck me how similar he sounded to someone live tweeting a movie. So I thought I’d share my amusement. Here is my sons “tweets” on his first watching of Jaws.

Get her, GET HER! See Sharkys? When you hear dun dun, dun dun, you attack.

The sharks gonna come. It’s hungry it needs to come now. Come on shark!

Whoa the shark got him! See Sharkys? That was a tasty snack for a shark.

That’s not the shark! You’re looking for a great white! That’s NOT a great white you caught!

Dun dun, dun dun, I see a dorsal fin!

WHOA! That is a BIG shark!

You can’t catch the shark like that, he’s gonna eat your boat.

You can’t catch the shark! You’re a fisherman, not a sharkman! *sigh*

The shark is just hungry, okay? He’s not mean, he’s hungry and needs to eat you.

They got the shark. It’s okay Sharkys, it’s just a movie.