One good panic attack

You know when you’re having a stressful season and you get to a point where you just need one good cry? It’s like a good cry will release the energy stuck inside, but you can’t force it so you wait as it continues to build. Well that’s where I’m at, except what I need is one good panic attack. I’ve been extremely high anxiety without release for a couple of weeks and it just keeps building. Yesterday was especially rough but still I don’t find that release, so today I woke up with a pressure headache, shaky, exhausted, and basically unable to leave my bed. I called in sick and proceeded to stay in bed half asleep until my husband came in with Starbucks. It was enough to release a little of the pressure to the point I was able to meditate.
I use the insight app for meditation, and I highly recommend it! I started meditating last year with the help of my therapist. I researched it scientifically first and was amazed at the proven results so thought I’d give it a try. Less than a year ago upon reaching this point of pressure, I would be covered in cuts and burns. Today I have no wounds and am finding a little peace despite the panic.

I tend to go a little spiritual in my meditation. I am not Buddhist but find Buddhist practices very beneficial for me personally. However, if you prefer to meditate without the spiritual aspects this app has tons of options. If you prefer to pray instead of meditate, there is also a prayer setting so you can custom fit this to your beliefs. The app has a basic timer so you can remain in prayer or meditation without watching the clock and be brought back by a soft chime. I did this yesterday for 20 minutes and it helped, but not enough.

Today I choose to meditate Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say So Hung. This is a mantra for healing with it’s own melody and pose. You can find the melody on YouTube, or in the app if you want to hear it. To do Ra Ma Sa Da, sit criss-cross-applesauce and sit with your back and head straight (I imagine pressing my back and the back of my head against a wall to get the proper posture). Bring you elbows in to you sides and bend your arms so forearms are almost straight up, have your palms flat and facing up. 

In this pose, as I chant/sing, I take a tip I learned to imagine a green light and focusing that on where I am sending the healing, and this can be for myself or others. Today I focused it on me, specifically my chest, arms, and head. I also use my breath in this meditation, bring in breath and healing and releasing tension slowly through the chant (all one breath). “Hung” is meant to be short rather than drawn out, so I push in my belly button to expel the last of my breath on this word. It helped tremendously. If your curious the translation, it’s below. Whether you are comfortable with this type of meditation or not I do highly recommend the insight timer app. Whether using it for payer or meditation it is amazing!

Ra – sun

Ma – moon

Da – earth

Sa – infinity

Sa Say – totality of infinity

So Hung – I am Thou

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