My overwhelmed brain

A thousand thoughts a second, too much noise, too much movement. I’m having one of those days where my BPD puts my brain on overdrive and I can feel everything. The Disney movie my children are watching is itchy on the sides of my face, the political news my husband is listening to crawls through my fingers, the lawnmower across the street makes me shaky, the random stream of light coming through the blinds tightens my chest. I feel everything. I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop, I want to distract my brain but everything makes it worse. I should take a sleeping pill but I have so much to do today. All I want is a short nap, is that so much to ask? A moments peace from this highly overwhelming brain day? But the worst is that when I do take a nap it will all follow me. All the stresses will appear in the vivid dreams I consistently have. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
Update: after 2 hours of enjoying a nice morning, followed by over 4 hours of hiding on my bed out of terror of… um… I don’t know, life(?), I’ve made it back to my baseline of sitting on the couch only half as anxious, where I am now reading. I can now fake exsistance again. Welcome to a day in the life of a borderline, as this has been a very small glimpse of my daily exsistance.

2 thoughts on “My overwhelmed brain

    1. Right? I hate that! I tried explaining it to my husband one time. I was trying to explain how I physically feel emotions, and he would name an emotion and I’d describe the sensation. It was really eye opening for him, especially when I got to the itchy ones lol.

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