You told me to keep my head down, then made me a leader. You said that trying did nothing but close doors then asked me to try again. If I ask and you say no, why would you set me up to ask again? Am I being set up for faluire? Am I just too stupid to understand what is happening? Is it all in my mind?
You lecture me for an hour on everything I’ve done wrong, and then ask why I’m crying. Am I emotional because of you or because of my disorder? Should I give up like you told me to? Or try again as you asked? Why do you give me mixed signals and get upset that I’m confused and ask questions?
You push and push and push and yet wonder why I’m stressed. You tell me I have something to offer but say I need to remain quiet. You tell me to stay low but that I shouldn’t hide. I can’t do both, I can’t meet these demands. I don’t know how much is you and how much is my disorder, all I know is it’s getting to be too much.